


Lost in me, lost in you

by vonfeist



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Clexa, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 14:38:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vonfeist/pseuds/vonfeist
Summary: If we don't leave this town, we might never make it out.





	Lost in me, lost in you

**Author's Note:**

> Clexa Roadtrip AU.  
> Inspired by the Lumineers Cleopatra, listen to the album it should fit this fanfic perfectly.  
> A lot of love and fluff, nothing more.

 

_"Love, like a drop of dew that joins two blades of grass together, has made her mine, as I am hers,_ _For ever and for ever." - W.H. Davies_

Soft tears pearled down her cheeks, slow and bitter, while people knowingly squeezed her shoulder, their looks full of pity. Some pulled her into soft hugs, pressing her limb body against them and she let it happen. She just couldn't will herself to get out of this stupor, out of this nightmare she's been in since it had happened. 

She heard the low whispers around her, heard stories about a careless boy that lost his life too soon. When she turned around to look for the origin of it, she was met by emerald eyes, Lexa's. A careful, soft smile played around the corner of her mouth. 

Unable to return the smile Clarke turned away and Lexa brought her attention back to the older lady in front of her. Finn's grandmother. Clarke remembered spending summers in her house, remembered how she always made hot chocolate for the three of them, how they spent day and night in her backyard playing pirates. Long before they had turned fourteen, long before they had become teenagers that were too different, to conscious of one another.

Clarke watched how Lexa hugged the older woman and gave her a soft, comforting smile before her eyes met Clarke's again. 

With a parting nod to Finn's grandmothers, she walked toward Clarke and came to a stop in front of her. Her emerald eyes conveyed a tenderness that Clarke gave into without hesitation. She leaned into Lexa's touch as her hands carefully travelled up Clarke's arm before she pulled her into the softest hug.

The warmth that spread through Clarke's body calmed her but also made it impossible not to let further tears stain the crisp suit jacket Lexa wore. Her grip on Lexa tightened and was returned strongly. It helped to calm her breathing, to stay put in the moment and as she let her hands travel up the length of Lexa's back, coming to a stop on her shoulder blades, she took a deep breath, inhaled the earthy, vanilla laced flavour that surrounded Lexa and placed a butterfly kiss against her neck.

There was no need for words at the moment, Lexa's presence was comfort enough and Clarke clung to her a little longer than appropriate for high-school friends and only loosened her grip when she heard Lexa's voice next to her ear. "Clarke...", she whispered quietly, "If we don't leave now, we will never make it out." 

Clarke's grip on her loosened as she looked up at her, still tears in the corner of her eyes. Those words had echoed more often between them than anything else. The dream, the future outside of this little village had been everything they ever dreamt of. Even Finn had practically lived by those few words, by the implications of them. Several times they had looked at cheap cars, flights, anything out of their hometown but they had never made it. Too rooted to the place by school, family, by everything they deemed important.

The moment they had gotten their acceptance letters Finn had pulled both of them in a crushing hug and conspiratorially he had whispered that they got a reason to leave now, like a map for a secret treasure and all of them had grinned at one another like idiots. They hadn't left, all of them got accepted to the college in town and neither of them spoke of another future outside of the city again. It had been the last week of finals when Finn spoke about their promise, about the fact that they would leave the city once they did it. 

A week after Finn had been involved in a car accident.

A quiet tear rolled down Clarke's cheeks and Lexa reached out to softly push it away, her eyes tenderly holding Clarke's. For a moment they stood there, just imagining their future together before Lexa took a step backwards, her hands trailing briefly against Clarke's while her eyes conveyed hope. A hope that Clarke could not match. She felt her lungs tightened, felt overwhelmed by the finality of the situation. 

Still, there was an inkling of a smile in the corner of Lexa's mouth and Clarke felt the desire to see it bloom, to pack her stuff and run-away with her. Instead she stayed rooted to the place and watched as Lexa moved past her, only shortly looking over her shoulder towards her and left the room. Clarke's breathing hitched, her finger started to tremble and before her mother could approach her she turned around on her heels, running after Lexa.

"Wait.", she called out and Lexa turned around in time to catch Clarke, her arms circling around her waist on instinct. Her face buried into Lexa's neck, breathing in the scent surrounding Lexa, Clarke held tightly onto her as if she was scared Lexa would be gone once she let her go.

   
"Okay.", she whispered against Lexa's ear shell and loosened the grip on her. Met by Lexa incredulous face, Clarke straightened her posture and didn't back down. If anything, her eyes shone with possibilities, with hope and she nodded to underline her words. She rather felt than heard Lexa reply, felt how her hands held Clarke tighter, how her body shuddered for a second and then she nodded too.

It was only a matter of minutes before they got into the taxi impatiently waiting for them. Clarke's side pressed into Lexa's almost immediately as if desperate for the warmth the provided. Her hand reached out onto Lexa, latching their fingers together in a tight grip. In a fluid motion she leaned even closer and pressed her lips intently against Lexa's jawline as a low but happy sigh left Lexa's lips.

_

 They hit pay dirt with an old Toyota, two blocks away from them who wouldn't destroy their savings completely. It was grey, the tires were old but it didn't matter. Not for Lexa and so, it didn't matter for Clarke either.

It was Lexa's curious gaze, her relaxed postures as she walked around the car, inspecting every inch of it as if she had just found the most precious car in the world. Unlike Clarke who stood a few meters away from the car, her arms crossed in front of her chest. She had a bad feeling about it, about a car that only costed a few hundred bucks. It couldn't be a good deal, no matter what.

 "It's perfect."

 

It was the curious gaze that met Clarke's that easily convinced her that this car would be theirs. The way Lexa's hand slowly wandered over the metal, the way she leaned in to inspect the interior of the car. 

"It's going to be great.", she promised while she skipped around the car once again. Clarke was the first to see the guy approaching them. He seemed nice enough as he reached out for their hands and shook them in greeting. He promised that the car left nothing to be desired and that it had always been very reliable. Clarke knew it was a lost cause to argue about the state of the car when Lexa shook his hand again, and pressed a few hundred-dollar bills into his hands.

Clarke shook her head at Lexa's antics and watched her get familiar with the car. She could see how Lexa excitedly turned on the car radio and some old 90s song blasted out of the window. "Are you getting in or what?", she asked and Clarke could see the happiness radiating through Lexa. 

Clarke sighed again, out of dramatic reasons, before she walked around the car and got into it herself. The seats were rather comfortable but the smell of sweat surrounded her in seconds. Leaving a sour aftertaste but Lexa promised her that they will buy something to eliminate the smell at the next gas station and Clarke found that she couldn't care less. She was here with Lexa, beautiful Lexa whose happiness was palpable. Clarke couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Lexa like this, her shoulders relaxed, her fingers drumming a pattern against the steering wheel and her lips silently mouthing the lyrics to the song of the radio.

So, she let herself smile and leaned back into the seat. "Where are we going?", Clarke asked, fiddling with her phone. She opened google maps and hovered with her thumb over the keyboard to type in a destination. Lexa momentarily looked over from the street to Clarke and shrugged. "I don’t know, where do you want to go?"

Clarke bit her lower lip and pondered. The whole world was before them and they could go wherever the way lead them, but still Clarke felt lost. Though this feeling ignited excitement, it also felt overwhelming. It meant that Clarke had to make her own decisions, no longer following a path dictated by her mother but her own. They could turn left if she wanted to or take the next traffic light to the right. The feeling was exhilarating, overwhelming, almost too much to handle and Clarke needed a moment to steady herself. "I... I don't know.", she heard herself say, unable to pinpoint a destination, to formulate her feelings in any way.

The car came to a stop at a traffic light and Lexa looked over to Clarke again, her smile soft. She reached her hand out and enveloped Clarke's left hand in her own. "How about we just drive straight until you want to stop?", her hand was warm and soft, grounding Clarke more than she thought it would. She returned Lexa's gaze and leaned over the console, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

Their lips met in a soft kiss, almost careful as if they were scared it would shatter the bubble of adventure they found themselves in. But the longer their lips moved against one another, a fortiori the kiss tasted like adventures, like something tangible between them and Clarke longed for it, pressed herself more intently into their kiss and suddenly it became passionate. Lexa's hands moved away from the steering wheel over to Clarke's face, burying themselves into the golden locks of her girlfriend.

 

It was the loud hooting from the car behind them, that made them jump away, both with a grin on their lips. "Okay.", Clarke whispered again, biting her lower lip and Lexa's smile broadened on her lips. She returned her gaze towards the street and the two of them drove off onto the highway in front of them.

_

Their first stop was a second hand shop a little out of town. Clarke had been there on several occasions in their life. First time when she and Lexa had started dating and Clarke had freaked out so much that her friend Harper had dragged her over to the shop. It had been a huge success. Clarke could remember vividly how her dark dress had rendered Lexa speechless but also how Lexa had draped her letterman over Clarke's shoulders as they spent the night sitting riverside of the lake because Clarke hadn't thought about bringing a jacket.  

Other times included the Halloween party where Clarke convinced Lexa to wear a suit so they could go as Gomez and Morticia Addams or the one time they had gone to the theatre, pretending to be posh people all dressed up in vintage dresses. But now it would make their travel kit. It would determine what kind of clothes they would wear on this journey.

Clarke walked through the aisles determined, already picturing how her look would be. She picked out several shirts, picked out dark cord pants for Lexa and suspenders, a few shirts that Lexa would love while said girl just leaned against the wall, watching Clarke exploring the shop. She'd spent a lot of time in here, had fallen in love with Clarke's laughter when she had pulled her into the dressing room just to kiss her silly and they had got busted. She remembered the twinkle in Clarke's eyes as she had repeatedly pulled her into the dressing room just to prove that kissing Lexa was more important to her than any consequence. Her smile was full of adoration, still lost in the memory, as Clarke returned to her, pressed a pile of clothes into her hand and watched Lexa disappear behind the curtain of the fitting room.

"Really, Clarke?"

When Lexa came back out in a light-green shirt, the suspenders loosely hanging from her shoulders all Clarke could do, was look. It only took another second until she closed the distance between them to kiss Lexa fiercely. The brunette gripped at Clarke's hips and pulled her closer, stumbling backwards into the wall. "I know I look hot in suspenders but Clarke, we...", Clarke stopped her mid-sentence with another kiss and smiled sheepishly. "I know, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity."

She softly pushed a brunette curl behind Lexa's ear, smiled and stole another butterfly kiss from her lips. "Of course, you couldn't." Clarke nodded and grinned before she released Lexa out of her embrace and disappeared into the fitting room herself.

Lexa took a few calming breaths, before she made her way through the shop and picked up a few dark shirt, a black jeans and made her way back into the dressing room. The suspender and the green shirt also found their way, secretly, into Lexa's pile of clothing. It would be a shame to leave them behind when she knew that Clarke appreciated her in that kind of clothing.

It was Clarke's low whistle that let Lexa know that Clarke had already emerged before her. With her black dress from the funeral draped over her arm, clad in blue hot pants and a soft-looking white shirt, she made her way over to the cashier.

Lexa came out a few minutes later, black jeans and dark-green shirt, her suit carefully folded in her hand. After they had picked up two pairs of sunglasses and a few trinkets for the car they paid and left the shop behind.

"It feels weird...", Clarke confessed once she packed her new clothing in the trunk of the car. Lexa looked over, curiously, an eyebrow quizzical raised at Clarke. "Like the thought that we are just leaving everything behind...", she turned her back towards the car and looked out into the direction of their hometown.

"Yeah...", Lexa agreed and closed the trunk only to move over next to Clarke, her left arm softly slung around Clarke's waist, following her gaze. "but it also feels good." 

Clarke looked over to Lexa, smiled, and looked back towards the road. "Yeah but I'm also a little scared. I... it feels so final.", she conceded and Lexa nodded before she pressed a soft kiss to Clarke's temple. "But it doesn't have to be, the trip is what we'll make out of it." 

_

The streets weren't busy while they drove down the road and Clarke enjoyed the cool breeze from the open window, her sunglasses perched on her nose and hummed a soft melody. Their newfound freedom still felt overwhelming but also coated them in some sort of invincibility and they throve in it. 

They enjoyed the music that enveloped them, sung along and grinned at one another whenever one of their favourite songs came on.

It's only when the sky started to colour itself in soft pink hues that Clarke broke the silence with something else. "Let's stop here.", she said, looking expectantly over to Lexa who just raised an eyebrow at her.

   
"Here? Here's nothing.", she said, looking around, watched the desert-like wild around them but Clarke just shook her head. "Just do it.", she insisted, reached out for Lexa's hand on the steering wheel, softly squeezed it and sent a disarming smile towards Lexa. And as per usual, Lexa conceded.

"Okay, okay.", she said and slowed down to stop the car on the side of the road. Her eyes flit over the scenery, taking in the few bushes around them before her eyes landed on Clarke once again. Once again, the blonde was lowly humming a song, only she could hear, as she unbuckled herself and reached out to turn up the volume. Lexa made a grimace at the intensity of the music but didn't do anything to change it. Instead she watched as Clarke jumped out of the car only to swirl around it in an uncoordinated manner. Her arms were held up horizontally as she danced around for several minutes, intensely watched by Lexa.  

Mesmerized by Clarke's carelessness she chanced a small smile that soon bloomed into a laughter as Clarke started to accompany her dancing with singing. 

"What are you doing, Clarke?", she asked between her laughter before Clarke jumped around the car, pulled open the driver's door and beckoned Lexa to follow her. She didn't have to be asked twice and soon enough they swirled around on the streets, their breath mingling, their laughter echoing through the air.

    
"We did it.", Clarke said happily, reached out for Lexa's hand and pirouetted with Lexa's help. "We did what?", Lexa asked, knowing full and well what Clarke was hinting at but the blonde just smiled broader, her eyes shone with happiness. "We left."

Their movements came to a stop and they just stared at one another, the warm breeze coating them softly. The words hung between them for a few silent minutes, the only thing louder than their thoughts was the music still blaring out of the car. "We did it.", Lexa repeated Clarke's words as if she hadn't realised them until now and Clarke nodded, slowly, as if realising it herself. "Yeah.", she said needlessly and Lexa bit her lip. She looked over the road, watched how a car passed them by, loudly blaring at them. She had never thought they would leave Polis together. They had talked about it, about college, about opportunities, adventures but in the end, they hadn't dared to leave. 

Sometimes Clarke would lean out of the window opposite of Lexa's home and she would make up stories about their life, would tell Lexa how she would move to New York, how she would have her own gallery or maybe become a renowned doctor. She would tell Lexa how she would make people see the beauty in life, how she would capture the world in a different light and once they got older, the stories evolved. Suddenly Lexa had been a part of it, the successful lawyer who would help people, who would ensure children found proper homes, weren't abused. 

And whatever happened, however Clarke's story turned out, they were together, standing side-by-side until they were old and wrinkly. But then Finn had demanded a place in the stories and suddenly they were a trio. Now Clarke's story would evolve around fearless teenagers, around Finn's football games, around beautiful boys and girls. Sometimes Lexa had feared that the future Clarke had so easily painted would vanish with a blink of an eye. 

And for a few years it seemed true. Clarke dated boys and girls alike, never settling for anyone for long and Lexa retreated, too scared to do anything, too scared to lose the future with Clarke all-together. It wasn't until the spring ball that Clarke asked Lexa to be her date and it wasn't until the first football game Lexa took part in, that she had the courage to ask Clarke out properly. It had been a long time but now they had been together for five years and Lexa couldn't imagine her life without Clarke anymore.

"And you know what?", Clarke whispered quietly against Lexa's lips and the brunette looked at her full of wonder, "there isn't anyone I would rather see the world with." She could see the gleam of tears in the corner of Lexa's eyes at those words and pulled her closer into a soft hug. The sentiment not lost on both of them. They both couldn't help but think about Finn. They held one another tight, thinking of the one other person that was missed dearly on this trip and for a moment, they just were. Just followed their turmoil inside of them and found strength in one another. 

Once the moment was over, the two of them loosened their hold of one another and stared towards the sunsets. Unshed tears still in the corner of their eyes. Clarke sighed quietly and leaned her head against Lexa's shoulder who in return snaked her arm around Clarke's waist. They stood like that until the sun got lost behind the horizon. 

_

They made it into town after another hour. The streets sparsely filled with cars, so that Lexa could comfortably drive down the street into town. Meanwhile Clarke watched the town pass-by in awe, the huge neon signs advertising hotels, companies and supermarkets. 

Only when Clarke saw a huge fountain, they came to a stop next to the sidewalk. It was the first time for a while that they both left the car and Lexa felt a slight strain in her legs from the long drive. She stretched herself while Clarke crossed the street and came to a stop in front of the fountain. She turned around slowly, taking in the huge city around them. Her eyes full of wonder.

In comparison Polis had been a village and neither of them had ever visited a city like this. 

Lexa watched Clarke from the other side of the road, saw the wonder in her eyes, how her smile stretched into her lips. She watched how Clarke twirled and twirled, until she came to a stop only to stare at Lexa. Her smile was deep, her face struck with awe and Lexa fell in love all over again, at the wonder that was Clarke Griffin. The woman that captured her heart so easily, it felt like breathing.

She slowly crossed the street herself, watched how Clarke turned around again, staring at a big sculpture in front of her. She followed the lines of the art piece and Lexa knew exactly the look on Clarke's face, even without seeing it. She knew that Clarke would bite her lips, knew that she hummed quietly like she always did when she was studying art. As if every art piece exuded its own tune.

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest when Clarke blindly reached out for Lexa's hand. A tingle run all over Lexa's body, her heartbeat quickening as their hands connected effortlessly. Even after more than five years Clarke still had that effect on her. Still made her feel as if she had just fallen in love with Clarke all over again. It still amazed Lexa and she hoped it would never end to feel that way. She hoped Clarke would always make her feel this way. 

It felt natural, almost expected, for Lexa to fall on one knee behind her. Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, something that felt so incredibly right, couldn't be wrong. So, she entwined their fingers and the blonde turned around, her eyes soft and warm, filled with adoration, to look at Lexa. Her smile deepened when she saw Lexa on her knee and for a second, she just stood still, staring at the brunette as a thousand thought ran through her mind. With almost no effort she pulled the brunette up onto her feet, held her hands tight in her own and she softly shook her head.

Lexa wanted to protest, wanted to ask Clarke, declare her love, utter the words that confirmed just how much Clarke meant to her but was disrupted by a butterfly kiss, lips pressed warmly against her own. It spread through her like a wildfire, warmed her from inside out and wrapped her in a cocoon of love. And Lexa let it happen. Only when the kiss ended Lexa's face turned stoic again, the disappointment apparent on her face. But Clarke knew her, knew that her eyes expressed far more than the soft scowl on her lips.

It was the soft glint in Clarke's eyes, the way she held Lexa's hand a little tighter that calmed Lexa's heart, calmed the storm of disappointment swirling inside of her. But still, the walls, even if only momentarily, build around Lexa's heart. The fear that Clarke would not want to spent the rest of her life with her, struck her hard and unforgiving. It gripped her heart fiercely, squeezing the air out of her lungs. And for a hot second, she shut down just like she had done a few years back when Costia had broken up with her. The smile didn't reach her eyes anymore and Clarke must have seen the look on her face, the vulnerability that was on display as she loosened her grip on Lexa's hand and reached out to take her face between her fingers. Her eyes caught Lexa's with a tenderness that disarmed Lexa completely. "Babe...", she whispered quietly, watching how Lexa's eyes focussed on hers once again.

"Not yet.", she whispered against Lexa's lips and looked at her sincerely. "Not yet.", she repeated, barely above whisper anymore and kissed the corner of Lexa's lips.

The brunette relaxed after that. Her heart traitorously beating strongly in her chest, refusing to give into the disappointment. Not yet meant a future, not yet meant sometime and it was more than Lexa ever imagined.

She took another deep breath, looked into the sky-blue eyes she adored so much and leaned in to kiss Clarke, it was a chaste kiss but it conveyed a promise, an unspoken one that Clarke felt deeply resonate in her bones. 

An unspoken 'I love you' flowed in-between them, coated them comfortably and both lingered in the moment a little while longer.

_

Lexa's eyes flitted from the street over to a big neon signing, indicating that a motel was nearby. The sign said 'Three Ladies' and seemed inviting enough. It was the third motel the two of them drove by, to weirded out by the others they had decided to continue driving until they found a place they liked.

As of now both of them were incredibly tired, the music of the radio only softly filling the quietness of the car and the occasional happy sigh that left Clarke's lips. It was about time, she wouldn't be picky, not when Clarke sat in the passenger seat, her head hanging low while she was softly snoring.

As she backed the car into a parking space, Clarke mumbled quietly next to her and Lexa tried to softly coax her out of sleeping without success. So instead she got out of the car, locked it for safety measures, and walked over to the reception. 

After a longer conversation with the receptionist about a double room, Lexa felt too exhausted for in the first place, she finally secured the key to their room. Though by that time Lexa was more than ready to just fall into the mattress, she had another problem to solve. Her sound asleep girlfriend.

With care Lexa pulled open the door of the car and unbuckled Clarke before she reached under her knees and her back to hoist her out of the car. With slow and secure steps, she climbed up the stairs while Clarke pressed herself closer to the source of warmth. Her face buried into the nook of Lexa's neck, she lowly mumbled something, her lips slowly moving against Lexa's neck, sending a shiver through Lexa. "Clarke...", she mumbled quietly in return but it did nothing to wake the blonde in her arms. All she did was letting out a sigh, her hot breath against Lexa neck, as she snuggled tighter into her body.

Once Lexa reached the door to their room, she set Clarke onto the floor with utmost care before she unlocked the door with the given key. Clarke wasn't bothered by the movement apart from the fact that she made a displeased sound. "Give me a second, Clarke.", Lexa said quietly before she picked up the blonde from the floor and carried her over to the bed. It was still astonishing for Lexa that Clarke was such a deep sleeper. Usually there was barely anything that could wake her once she had fallen asleep. 

Not the police officer banging at their door, not her mother yelling loudly after she had found Lexa in Clarke's bed the morning after their first night together, nothing but soft kisses and sweet nothings that Lexa would whisper into her ear in the early morning hours. Lexa was pretty sure Clarke would sleep through a fire if she had her way.

As she carefully lowered Clarke onto the mattress, the blonde reached out for Lexa instinctively. The brunette smiled at that and leaned over her, her long brown, curly hair falling freely over her shoulders. In the low light of this room with Clarke snuggled into the bed, her breathing slow and deep, Lexa wondered when she had gotten so lucky. This woman underneath her had her under her spell, made her happier than Lexa ever believed she deserved to be. Being with Clarke made her feel complete, like the missing puzzle piece had finally found its place to complete the picture. 

Reverently she pushed a blond lock away from Clarke's face and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Her heart beat strong and bold in her chest and Lexa couldn't help but smile with contentment. When she turned back to get their clothing out of their car, she found Clarke's hand holding onto her shirt. "Where are you going?", she asked sleepily, her voice dark and raspy.

"Just getting our stuff, don't worry. I'll be back in a second.", she promised, unable to turn around without leaving another chaste kiss on Clarke's lips. "Hurry, okay?", Clarke mumbled against her lips and a second later her breathing evened out again. Lexa shook her head in amusement and made her way down to the car again. When she returned Clarke was already in deep sleep, her hands buried into the soft fabric of the pillow and her breathing slow and even. 

In the quiet of the room Lexa took the time to sit on the edge of the bed and let her thoughts run freely through her mind. Everything felt like a dream, felt so unreal that for a second Lexa felt fear rushing through her system. The fear that she would wake up any moment now, alone. Alone in her bed at home, Clarke nowhere to be seen. The fear felt so palpable that she had to look over her shoulder to reassure herself that Clarke was indeed with her. 

Exhaling loudly Lexa let herself fall backwards onto the mattress, staring towards the ceiling. Her thoughts run thousand miles a minute, too quick for her to pick out anything apart from dread. Unable to contain her insecurity her hands gripped into the sheet beneath her, a fruitless effort to ground herself. But all she could think about was Finn and how it took him only a second to lose everything.

Lexa remembered the evening where he had revealed to her that he was undeniably in love with Clarke and that he had hoped, for many years, that she would look at him the way she looked at her. And Lexa had felt terrible this evening, filled with fear and jealousy, even if unwarranted for and Finn, suddenly wise beyond his years, had told her to hold onto Clarke, to make her the happiest person alive. Maybe he had seen the twinkle of Clarke's eyes when she had come over, sitting on Lexa's lap, happily telling her that she had won the beer pong against Lexa's teammates again, maybe he knew that Lexa had every intention to make Clarke the happiest she could be. 

Because for her, Clarke's happiness equalled hers.

With a sigh, Lexa pushed everything aside and inched closer towards Clarke, pressing her front against Clarke's back, her nose buried deep into Clarke's hair. It's the soft scent of coconut and pineapple mixed with something so entirely Clarke that made Lexa fall asleep, their legs tangled together.

_ 

Sometime during the night Clarke must have snuggled even closer into Lexa because when she woke up the next morning, the brown mane almost covered her face and Lexa's hand was gripping onto the fabric of her crumpled shirt.

She carefully extracted herself out of Lexa's grip and got out of the bed. It was still dark in the room, despite of the obvious rays of sunshine that tried to make their way through the curtains. Without hesitation Clarke did them a favour and ripped the curtains open. The sun streamed in through the window and illuminated the room in a dazzling white resulting in a suffering moan from Lexa.

A loud yawn left Clarke's lips as she stretched her arms over her head while overlooking the motorway in front of the motel. But it was the shuffling of sheets that ultimately caught Clarke's attention. As she turned toward the bed all she found was Lexa's face deeply buried into her pillow, the blanket pulled up highly into her face. "Too bright...", the brunette mumbled into the fabric and Clarke smiled at her antics before she pattered over to the bed and leaned in to kiss Lexa's forehead before she made her way over to the small in-build bathroom. 

Lexa let out a loud sigh as she heard the whirring of the shower from the bathroom. She listened to it for a few moments, waited for Clarke's low voice to filter through the door but was unable to stay awake long enough to actually hear it. 

When the door opened with a loud clap, Lexa startled slightly and stretched her body lazily, only to be met by Clarke's nakedly walking through the room. A low rumble left her lips and made Clarke quirk an eyebrow at her. 

"Enjoying the view?", she asked, not one to shy away after five years and Lexa nodded in response before she once again stretched lazily in bed, only to cross her arms behind her head. "Always. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on.", she said teasingly, even if she meant every word she said.

 "Charmer.", Clarke returned, the laughter almost apparent in her voice before she leaned down to their bag, noisily rummaging through it to find something fresh to wear. Once satisfied with her findings she pulled on her underwear and threw a soft shirt on before she climbed back into bed, crawling towards Lexa. Once she reached Lexa's hips she sat down to straddle her. It's automatically that Lexa's hand reached out only to land on Clarke's waist, holding her into place.

Usually Clarke enjoyed this kind of closeness with Lexa, whenever they had lazy Sundays together they would sit together like that, carefully exploring the skin of the other inch by inch. But now wasn't one of their Sundays, instead they were on the road to nowhere.

So, Clarke made herself comfortable on Lexa's hips and began to push her hair back into a messy bun, the water still dripping down her shoulders. "What's the plan for today?", Clarke asked curiously before she leaned forward, her hands moving slowly over Lexa's abs up to her perky breasts. It sent a ripple through Lexa's body who looked up Clarke with hunger in her eyes. "Well, I could think of something...", she suggested as she leaned up and placed a languid kiss on Clarke's lips.

"Does it include breakfast?", Clarke asked with a mischievous grin against Lexa's lips, "If not, I'm out." She leaned back only to watch how Lexa would slowly open her eyes, her pupils still dilated and reached out for her neck. The blonde let it happen and sighed into the kiss she received, returning it eagerly. Their tongues swiped eagerly over one another while they angled their face towards one another. Slowly wandering hands moved from Clarke's hips over to her sides only to sneak underneath Clarke shirt. Her skin tingled under Lexa's touch and she leaned further into her girlfriend. With a small popping sound their paused in their doings, only to take long breaths before their lips connected once again. Clarke's hands roamed restlessly over Lexa's body, unable to stay in place while Lexa's hands softly cupped Clarke's breast, her nipples firmly pressed through the soft fabric. With a swift movement Lexa's hands moved under the disturbing garment and soon enough Lexa's hands palmed Clarke's breasts tightly, her fingers teasing Clarke's erected nipples. 

It's when Clarke's lips escape a soft moan that the blonde pulled back and looked apologetically towards Lexa, her breathing still erratic and her lips swollen from their kisses. She was about to say that she was almost starving when a small smile broke out on Lexa's face. "Breakfast?", she filled in the unspoken words and Clarke nodded sheepishly. "Just once I wish you would choose me over food. Just once.", Lexa said theatrically as she flopped back down into the mattress. With a playful shove Clarke pushed her further into the mattress before she heaved herself out of bed. "You are such a dork sometimes.", she said over her shoulder and went back into the bathroom to finally take care of her hair.

_ 

It only took a few seconds for Clarke to dig into the scrambled eggs onto her plate. She had never been a gracious eater or someone who was worried about their appearance while eating. If anything, there was nothing she cared less for. The only time Clarke did eat properly was whenever Lexa had taken her out to expensive restaurants to celebrate their anniversaries. 

But usually it was just them, a few take-out containers on the table and Clarke who savoured the food like she had been starved for days. Lexa never gave in to such behaviour but then again, Clarke would never eat whatever Lexa would deem as healthy food anyway and she couldn't fathom how one could even attempt to eat sprouts, salad or smoothies. But right now, they were at a diner close to the motorway and there was nothing but greasy food on the menu. 

So, the only option that Lexa had been left with were some pancakes and a cup of coffee, internally she craved her cup of green tea but there was nothing like that here. The waitress had offered Lexa a glass of orange juice but that wouldn't just do. With distaste on her features she took a sip from the bitter coffee and swallowed the liquid unwillingly. "I think, we should eat in diners more often.", Clarke voiced while she shoved another fork full of eggs into her mouth. 

"No.", Lexa returned decidedly before she carefully cut a triangle out of her pancake and dipped said triangle in the maple syrup. Clarke paused at that, took a sip from her coffee and watched Lexa for a second, saw the emotion flicker through her face. It was true that Lexa was rather fanatic in regards of her food. When they had started dating Lexa had been anything but. During their last year of high school, they had often eaten whatever Clarke's father had cooked them but once they had moved out, they would usually eat take-out food, like the cheap kind, just because they were poor college students. But it became quickly apparent that Lexa wasn't entirely happy with their choice of food, even her body was revolting more often than not. First it was heartburn, then her stomach cramped. At first, they had thought Lexa would come down with a flu or anything the like, until Clarke invited Lexa to the raw food restaurant down the road.

To this day Lexa still claimed that the raw food down there was the reason why she had started to refrain from eating greasy food. When in reality Lexa had made it into the football team of their school a week prior and had to start eating healthy to perform properly. And just like that Lexa started cooking for them, usually healthy meals with a side of greasy stuff to appease Clarke and it worked, still did. "Too bad. I really miss our take-out evenings.", Clarke said with a wistful smile on her face and took another bite of her food. "We can still have them, you know?", Lexa asked, carefully eating another piece of her pancake. "Ordering raw food from Polis does not count as take-out, Lexa.", Clarke let her know and Lexa grinned at her. "But technically..."

"Oh, shove it.", Clarke interrupted and Lexa laughed heartily. And for a moment Clarke just sat their admiring Lexa's laugh. Her girlfriend had many minuscular mimics, most of them barely visible but her laugh was the one thing Clarke loved the most. Her whole body shook with it, usually small tears formed in the corner of her eyes and her eyes twinkled. 

"What?", Lexa asked once she had caught her breath again and Clarke just shook her head and leaned over the table, softly kissing away the remnants of Lexa's laugh from her lips. Lexa licked her lips afterwards as if to savour the taste. "Mh, egg kisses, I love egg kisses.", she said teasingly and if Clarke would have been closer to Lexa, she would have shoved her playfully, instead she softly kicked Lexa's shin under the table. 

The brunette sobered up slightly, though she couldn't deny the smile that remained in her eyes, "can I have another?", she asked and Clarke just sighed theatrically and leaned over again. "I love you, you dork."

It must have been their apparent happiness that pulled in one of the truck drivers from the bar. He had silently watched the two of them interact and it seemed as if he deemed them worthy of his company. His long, ruffy beard obscured half of his face and his huge stature made him rather intimidating. But when he came over with a huge toothy smile on his lips and kind eyes the two of them didn't find a reason in themselves why he could not join them at their table.

So, Clarke had moved from her side of the table next to Lexa, securely wrapping herself around Lexa, and they had started listening to the driver. He told him that his name was Gustus and that he was a truck driver for more than twenty years now and that his journey had started with this diner as he had fallen in love with one of the waitresses. He promised it to be a love just like they had, full of happiness and wonder. Something that made him return to this place whenever he could make the time.

"She would usually serve the coffee at this diner.", he pointed around himself and for a quick second he locked eyes with an older woman behind the counter, her black short hair and a scar underneath her eye giving her a rather hard exterior but Gustus still looked fondly at her. "She was always grumpy and you know, as someone who didn't have anything to do in their downtime, I was determined to make her smile. Just once.", he told them and looked over to Clarke who carefully sipped from her glass.

   
"And your girlfriend here...", he said, his eyes shortly landing on Lexa, "reminded me much of myself." And with that they talked for what seemed like hours and Gustus told them everything he knew about the motorway, about cities that would come along the way and Lexa found herself fascinated, engaging in conversation much longer than Clarke would have liked. Not that she didn't like Gustus' company but she had hoped they would leave the diner behind rather quickly and continue their journey.

But still, she held the hand of her girlfriend while she asked Gustus everything he was ready to share. The two of them got along so great that Clarke wondered for a second if they knew each other longer than it appeared which was very unlikely.

"So where are you going next?", Clarke heard Gustus ask once Lexa had finished their story and felt herself shrugging. "How about...", he said as he looked over to the bar. "Indra? Do you have a coin for me?" The dark-skinned waitress walked over to the register without saying a word and pulled it open, only to extract a quarter and walked over to the table the three of them sat at.

"Gus, you need to stop yakking at the young folks here. I'm sure they are just too polite to tell you otherwise.", she levelled the couple with an understanding look and Clarke smiled sheepishly at the older woman. "Really?", he asked as he set his askew baseball cap straight and gave them a toothy smile. "I'm sure they would have told me.", he continued as he took the coin from Indra. 

Lexa just shook her head with a bright smile on her lips and watched as the two older people bantered for a little while. Only when Indra playfully slapped Gustus with her towel and turned away with a smile on her face, Gustus face lit up. "I made her smile.", he told them proudly and understanding dawned on the couple's faces. So that was the mysterious woman Gustus had told them about.  "Anyway, so... head north, tails south?", he flipped the coin in his hand a few times and found Clarke shrugging.    
"Fair enough.", Lexa said with a bright smile on her lips as she propped herself up on her elbows to carefully watch the coin in the huge hands of the truck driver. He nodded once again and flipped the coin with his thumb. With a swift movement he caught the coin in the air only to drop it on the back of his hand.

When he revealed the coin, it showed head and Lexa looked expectantly over to Clarke. "North?", she asked her and all Clarke could do was smile in return. "North."

_

They had only driven for a few hours when Clarke complained that the scenery was anything but exciting and so the couple decided to do a detour to the next city they came along. Unfortunate for them, the only place near-by was a small village and so they wandered through the almost empty streets, greeted old women who sat in front of their garden, watched old man mow their lawn and decided that the detour had been quite nice, despite the fact that the place hadn't been exciting, it had been something else, something calm and relaxing, something they had needed after driving for so many hours.

And so, their journey continued for a full week, their direction always north, Gustus words still echoing in their minds. Most of the time they stopped in small places, let themselves immerse in the life of others, let themselves experience the world in a different pace. Surprisingly it opened their eyes for the smaller things in life, the things that they had taken for granted. It started with the evenings they would spent huddled together, until the mornings where they danced in the rain, helped a farmer out on a farm and planted trees in his backyard.

Their newfound freedom was liberating, made them forgot that they had spent all their life in their small home without seeing anything else. It brought to mind that there were so many different lives around them that they had never been part of and now they had orbited together with others, had insight in their life and realised that even small favours could have a big impact.

One of the most influencing encounters was the day Clarke drove their car over the motorway. They had argued before and so Lexa had taken a seat in the back of the car, her feet carelessly hanging out of the car windows while she dozed off. The argument was petty at best, nothing that would permanently influence their relationship but still, Clarke was annoyed at Lexa for not trusting her with the car, for not believing that she could drive this car without effort.

And so, it was bound to happen. Lexa had fallen asleep on the backseat of the car, getting a much-needed rest after driving for the last week and only woke up because of a violently closed car door. Their tempers had calmed hours ago and Lexa was all but angry at Clarke. If anything, she was worried and it didn't take her long to get out of the car herself.

Clarke walked restlessly up and down in front of the car, cursing quietly while her hand moved agitated through the air. "Clarke, what happened?", Lexa asked worriedly, reached out for Clarke's elbow and made the blonde stop in her movement. Annoyance flashed through Clarke's face once they made eye-contact but Lexa could easily tell that it wasn't directed at her, if the soft grip of Clarke's at her hoodie was any indication.

"We are out of gas.", Clarke mumbled, her eyes flitting over to the side, avoiding Lexa's. She knew it was partly because of the argument they had had earlier when Clarke had loud and proud told her that she was more than capable of taking care of the car. 

But Lexa wasn't mad at Clarke and just reached out for her face and turned it towards her own only to kiss Clarke soundly. The eyes of the blonde snapped up at that and she sighed quietly, momentarily relieved that there had been no consequences even if she knew better. Lexa rarely got annoyed or angry, she was a well-tempered person that only leashed out when it was necessary or when someone found her weakness which she hid with utmost care. Clarke had only once experienced Lexa wrath after she had almost made out with a stranger at a party. After that they hadn't spoken for weeks, both too proud to admit they were at fault for their reactions. Finn had done everything to kit, to help them but to no avail. 

In the end it had been the most mundane thing that had ended the fight. Clarke had gotten her period while being in the studio for an assignment and had mechanically called Lexa, the person she always contacted first when she had forgotten her pain killers. Without hesitation Lexa had taken the pills out of their bath cabinet and brought them over to Clarke. Once they were eye-to-eye the argument suddenly felt petty, unnecessary and Clarke fell into Lexa's arms like a crying mess, unable to hold back her tears. That night Lexa had warmed up the hot-water bottle, snuggled close to Clarke on the couch while they forgave one another.

This time was much different, Lexa's only concern was Clarke's happiness and so they had no other choice but wait on the side of the street for any car that would pass-by. "Well, looks like we have to get creative here.", Lexa had teased while she pulled the blonde into a loose hug. 

"Creative?", Clarke asked, her voice slightly muffled by Lexa's chest. 

"Yeah, did you bring anything saucy?"

Clarke brought distance between the two of them at those words and looked curiously at Lexa who just smiled back brightly in return. She kissed the small crease between Clarke's eyebrows and walked over to their car, only to hold out her thumb for any car that passed-by.

For a moment Clarke just stood there, looking at Lexa, before a small grin flitted over her features. 

Instead of leaning next to Lexa against the car, Clarke walked daringly onto the road and started to wave her hands at a nearing car successfully rendering it to a stop. Inside sat a family of three, the supposedly mother winding down the window.

"Hey.", Clarke said loudly as she walked over to them and leaned down to be at the same height as they were. Lexa followed suit and sent the small boy in the backseat a playful wink before she looked over to the woman in the front seat. "Hello, my girlfriend and I just ran out of gas and we were wondering if you could maybe help us out?", she asked politely, keeping eye-contact with the strangers they were faced with.

Clarke stood next to her, wearing a similar smile on her face as Lexa did. She hoped it was inviting and would help them to get their point across, namely that they were harmless enough. The men, an older guy with a bald head and glasses on his nose nodded approvingly. "Sure thing, kids. Hop in we'll bring you to the next gas station."

Clarke smiled happily at them, almost abandoning their own car, and got into the car of the family without looking back. Lexa was the one that turned back to their cat, locked the doors and took out some sort of container from the back which she planned on filling with gas at the petrol station. Afterwards she made herself comfortable next to Clarke in the backseat. The small boy sitting in the carrier next to them looked at them with wide eyes, curiously. "Hey little boy.", Clarke cooed as the father pulled out onto the street once again.

"So, where are you headed?", asked the woman in the front seat with a gentle smile on her lips. Lexa made eye-contact with her through the rear mirror and explained how they made their journey through the country unsure where they would end up eventually. In return she learned that the family had just visited their grandmother for her birthday and that Aden, their little boy, had seen his grandmother for the very first time because of some quarrels. 

Once again it reminded them that time with family, with loved ones was precious and that there was nothing that could rectify the lost time with them. Something that had manifested itself during their journey.

Soon enough they reached the next petrol station and the couple left the car to fill in gas can with petrol. 

"I'm glad, you know...", Clarke disclosed as she leaned against one of the columns of the petrol station. "Glad?", Lexa asked, still filling the can with patience. "Yeah, that we met such nice people along the way. I always thought that everyone fought on their own but it's just not true. Everyone we met so far was so helpful, so open to let us in, even if we are strangers."

Lexa nodded at that and smiled tenderly at Clarke. "Yes, it's amazing, isn't it?" Clarke nodded as Titus, the family father walked over from his car and came to a stop next to the girls. "My wife just told me she'll wait here for me, so we'll drive back alone.", he told them, Aden holding onto his hand tightly. "Oh really? We don't want to bother you more than necessary.", Lexa tracked back but Titus just shook his head. "Don't worry, we are not in a hurry." It sounded like a promise, like something that felt natural to him.

"Do you mind if I stay here?", Clarke asked as she squatted down to Aden and smiled at the little boy. Lexa knew from experience that Clarke had a soft spot for children. She had always told Lexa that she planned on having some on her own and Lexa couldn't agree more. The idea of having a family with Clarke appealed to Lexa more than anything else in the world.

"Not at all, but try not to steal Aden, okay?", she teased as Titus smiled gently at the couple and walked over to the car with Lexa. 

_

Their next encounter with someone wasn't by chance at all. After paying much more for motels and hotels than they could actually afford on the long run, they decided to try couchsurfing for a change. The first few days they spent sleeping in their car without any answers and as they were about to give up and just drive home someone was willing to host them.

His name was Wells, a southern guy who promised to meet them at the local fast-food restaurant. Though Lexa was opposed to eat anymore fast-food, Clarke easily convinced her to drive over anyway. After all they only drove over to pick-up Wells. At least that was the idea, obviously Clarke couldn't go without some fries and a cheeseburger.

He introduced himself as an aspiring musician and so they found themselves in his small apartment which was much more comfortable than they actually would have expected. A small fireplace illuminating the apartment into a warm light, giving it a homey atmosphere in which the three of them sat until late into the night.

Wells told them stories of concerts, of puke that stained his clothing once when he had some fans backstage, how he had barely played the first notes of his songs before a bra had been flung at his head while Clarke's melodic laugh filled the room more often than not.

"… and then everything was dark. At first, we totally panicked and apologized that we couldn't play like that but suddenly someone lit a candle and soon everyone sat on the floor and we gave an acoustic concert.", he told them his favourite concert memory as they listened intently. It was only shortly before Wells took out his guitar and handed it too Clarke. Soon enough the two of them were singing loudly and Lexa watched the twinkle in Clarke's eyes as she bellowed out the lyrics, watched how her hand moved mechanically over the strings. 

 

That night Lexa snuggled closer to Clarke than all the nights before as they laid down on the small couch. Her hands treaded tenderly through Clarke's blonde locks while her lips drew small patterns against her neck, soft and tender. The quiet was only disturbed by a small sigh that echoed through the air when Clarke shuffled backwards to be even closer. Her hand reached back to get a hold on Lexa's to pull it over her waist, securely tugged into Lexa's embrace. Only then her eyes finally fluttered closed.

"I love you."

Feeling the small smile in the back of her neck and a small, wet kiss pressed against of her skin, she smiled at nothing while her heart hammered steadily in her chest. "and I love you.", Lexa returned against her skin.

_

For the next four weeks the two of them drove from one place to another, the car surprisingly making it through everything they faced. Be it the thunderstorm during the night or the heat of the sun during the day. The car never disappointed them.    
While being on the road the two of them followed their gut feeling. Sometimes they spent a night or two at one place, only to visit bars and meet people. More often than not they met amazing people whose stories left a visible dent in them, like a carved-out piece of wood. 

Some of which Clarke followed up with portraits of said people while Lexa let herself drown in the personalities in front of her. She was an amazing listener, always ready to ask relevant questions while Clarke captured the moment with her pencil.

Soon enough her notebook was full of sketches while their minds were filled with memories and their hearts filled with wistfulness. Even if they had only met most of the people briefly, they would forever cherish the moments they had spent with them. The insight they had gotten over the weeks would forever be engrained in them and both of them were sure to think of everyone once in a while.

As the money was slowly decreasing they decided that they would only make one final stop before they would drive back home. Though they couldn't really say that their hometown was actually that, a home anymore. For them home had become something else entirely, it was no longer a place but rather people, most of them they had met through their journey. The upcoming thoughts, of a life after their journey, felt weird and abstract. So much so that both of them found themselves clinging to their seats, unable to let go of their current life just yet. 

Lexa knew, more than ever, that Clarke was the person she wanted to grow old with. The person she wanted to wake up with every morning. She knew that, once she started as a lawyer, Clarke would be her rock, the person that made sure she wouldn't overwork herself, that she would stay true to her nature and she hoped to be same for Clarke, almost knew that they were those things for one another already. It had just happened over the years, while the two of them had realised that it came naturally to them others had been amazing by the way the two of them just were. Their hands found one another automatically when the other needed it, they felt the presence of the other and seemed to be unable to not check-in with one another. And this journey had manifested it, had strengthened their bond beyond belief. 

Somewhere along the road they had turned around, visited one or two of their friends on the way and were close to staying another night with Wells when he told them that there was a party close-by and that they would give a concert over there.

"Over here.", a voice called out as they drove onto the property of Bellamy Blake. Said guy was a bandmate from Wells, a guy with dark, curly hair and a bright charming smile. He motioned them towards a spot of the garden where they could park and soon they were unpacking their clothes from the trunk of their car. "So, you are the famous Lexa and Clarke.", Bellamy rather stated than asked as he rounded the car and helped the girls. 

"Are we famous now?", Clarke asked with amusement in her voice and Bellamy returned it with an even broader smile himself. "Wells told me so much about the two of you that it really feels like that.", he explained and heaved one of the bags over his shoulder. Lexa took the other and together they walked towards the house.

Once they reached the front door it was ripped open by a brunette with a slim body but toned arms and a brace around her left knee. In her left hand she swung a bottle of alcohol, seemingly absinth by the colour of it. "O, stop this shit and accept your punishment.", she called out, the bottle wiggling dangerously in her hand. "Fuck O, where...", she trailed off as her attention fell on Bellamy and the two visitors. "Oh, hey Bell.", she said innocently and lowered the bottle to her side, only to be attacked from behind by another girl. She squeezed her eyes shut in pain as the added weight on her back as the pressure became more intense on her left knee. It only took a few seconds for Bellamy to drop the bag and run over to Raven, to help her stabilize herself. "O, how many time do I have to tell you...", he started but was interrupted by Raven who squatted his hand away harshly. "Leave it, Bell. I can handle myself."  

"I just...", he started but Raven just shook her head at him, "You don't need to.", she spit and turned around, leaving behind a startled Bellamy. She ripped the other brunette with her by her hand and soon enough Bellamy was left behind with Clarke and Lexa. 

"Eh, we can leave if...", Lexa started politely while she leaned down to pick up their fallen bag. "Ah, don't worry, Raven is just a little sensitive in regards of her leg.", he shrugged and pushed the door to open widely for them. "Raven's my roommate by the way, we met in college." 

"Oh, Wells mentioned Raven. She's your bassist, right?", Clarke piped up unperturbed by the unfolding events. Lexa felt a little different about the situation, usually one to avoid confrontation. Most time she was faced with confrontation it seemed like she would stand her ground but in reality, it made her heart hammer in her chest and fuelled the anxiety inside her to a certain degree which usually ended up in her having a minor breakdown after an argument, at least when she cared for the people she argued with. Clarke could vividly remember how teenage Lexa would burst into tears whenever an argument would arise between them and how she would suffer when Clarke gave her the silent treatment, her way of handling issues that arose between them. By now though, both of them knew how the other would react and it mostly ended up in giving the other the space to breath, to recap a situation before it escalated.

Right now, was no different, apart from the fact that Lexa had only witnessed the tension in the air. So, Clarke took one from the bags Lexa was carrying and then linked their pinkie fingers together. Lexa sent her a grateful smile in return and they finally entered the house.

_

After they stored their clothing in one of the bedrooms they ventured back down to the first floor, casually opened a bottle of beer and sat on the steps of the entrance. It was nowhere near time for the party and so the three of them took the time to get to know each other.

   
It was apparent that Bellamy was as different from Wells as one could get. He was a history student, already placating them with historical facts about city they had visited but he also told them about Wells, about the wish to go out there in the world to perform for others, and to just not settle somewhere.

It set a seed deep inside of Clarke and Lexa, the thought of not going back anywhere sounded like a dream come true, like a fantasy that had been far away only a few weeks ago and now, they were happier than ever. The laughs were pulled from them without much effort, the mornings were greeted much easier and every step they made had a special spark to it.

"Hey babe.", an unknown arm slung itself around Lexa's shoulder and the brunette tensed for a second before long, blonde hair obscured her view. When suddenly soft lips pressed themselves against her cheek Lexa blinked confused and pulled back from the intruder. "Eh...", she sputtered helplessly before Clarke intervened. "Eh, why are you kissing my girlfriend?"

The intruder brought distance between Lexa and herself and blinked for several seconds before she heard someone else laugh from behind. "Forgot your glasses again, 'babe'?", Raven asked with a grin on her lips as the blonde next to Lexa tensed. "Oh fuck, not again.", she muttered. It was then that Lexa and her made eye-contact. "Anya.", the blonde introduced herself carelessly. "Sorry for...", she motioned with her hand. "I thought you were Raven."

Raven slowly came down the stairs, kissed Anya on the lips before she slung her arm around Clarke. "Don't worry, happens all the time. She's as blind as bat but too proud to wear fucking glasses." Clarke looked over to Lexa who still stood there somewhat paralyzed, her lips pressed into a thin line and hurried over to pull Lexa into a searing kiss. One that totally caught Lexa off-guard and made her moan unexpectedly. She pulled back, breathless. "Clarke...", she mumbled against her lips, her ears red in embarrassment, as Clarke smiled apologetically at her. 

"Sorry, I just saw that you got mad and I wanted to...", Lexa swallowed harshly and nodded, her pupils blown. It had been some days since the two of them had indulged in alone time, especially because of the fact that couch surfing didn't really offered many opportunities to sleep alone. One day they had slept in the bedroom of a guy who had snored terribly, while another time they had to sleep on the floor with just a blanket, not really the right circumstances.

"Well, that's a girl after my taste. If I wouldn't be with you...", Raven exclaimed, looking over to Anya with some sort of glint in her eyes, "I'd totally bang her." 

"Raven, don't.", Bellamy chastised while Lexa looked over Clarke's shoulder over to Raven, an eyebrow raised at her. She was about to enquire what Raven where hinting at when the brunette just laughed at her expression and gave her a toothy grin.

"Ah don't worry, Bell, I'm sure we will get along great, right Lex?" The blonde turned with an expression of apprehension on her face. "Will you?", Clarke asked carefully and Raven laughed. "Of course, the greatest friendships start with weird misunderstanding and lots of alcohol. Speaking of, why are we not drinking?"

_

Inside they were met with several other people. Bellamy introduced all of them patiently. Monty and Jasper were introduced as Raven's classmates who were always a little high and never one to back down when Mario Kart came up, a game that seemed to be frequently played in the group. Aside from them, there was Murphy, the drummer, Harper and Maya, girls Bellamy knew from college as well and who only spent time at the house for the party in the evening, and lastly there was Echo, Bellamy's girlfriend.

Wells greeted them half an hour later with a can of beer for each and soon enough the whole group sat in the garden, around a small fireplace, and told one another stories. 

"So, you never had a destination in mind?", Maya asked Clarke curiously as Lexa was in deep conversation with Bellamy close to the barbeque. They had started to talk about future plans and how everyone was afraid to plunge into the deep water. Clarkes and Lexa's journey seemed to be the perfect plug for it. Though it seemed almost weird how everyone idolized their journey. It was as if getting into a car, leaving behind everything you loved, was something worth striving for when in reality it wasn't just sunshine and roses. 

There had been several times where they had been out of gas, where old men had creeped them out in bars, where they had fought for the length of a full day because of a misunderstanding. And even though it seemed like the ideal solution for many people, it wasn't. More than anything it was some sort of escape, some sort of leaving behind responsibilities. Neither Clarke nor Lexa had dealt with Finn's death yet. They buried it under new exciting memories, unable to handle the deep hole in their hearts in the shape of Finn.

"Yeah, we didn't even plan on leaving at all. It just happened, I guess.", Clarke said with a shrug as her glance wandered over to Lexa who was animatedly talking to Bellamy. It seemed absurd that Clarke still craved Lexa's vicinity when she wasn't by her side, even though they had spent the last weeks basically glued to one another but Clarke couldn't explain it. It felt as if they had gotten even closer, like there was a invisible pull between them. Before they had known the routine of the other, known their ticks to an extend but now it was like they had laid themselves bare before one another. There was nothing Clarke didn't know about Lexa and she loved every part of it. 

For a short second, she watched how Lexa animatedly swung her left arm in a throwing motion next to Bellamy before he jumped up and made a slightly different movement. It was Lexa shaking her head vigorously, some wisps falling out of her braid, that made Clarke forget that she was actually talking to someone. All she wanted was to get up, sling her arms around her girlfriend and breathe in her slightly earthy smell, sinking into it and never letting go of her. 

 It were Harper's words that ripped Clarke out of her reverie. "Weren't you afraid?" 

"Afraid? Not really. I mean it was overwhelming at first but I was never alone, you know. I think, if you have to plunge into the cold water, it's much easier if there's someone with you. Not someone who guides you or who catches you when it doesn't work out but a hand to hold onto." It hit her that she was rambling when small lips pulled at the corner of Harper's and Maya's lips. The two smiled at one another before looking back over to Clarke.

   
"How long have you to... holding hands?", Raven asked teasingly as she plopped down next to Clarke. Her arm slung around Maya's shoulders while in the other was a red cup filled with alcohol. Clarke's smile spread at that, the indication not missed on her. "Five years, almost six. But I already know her my whole life.", it must have been the glint in Clarke's eyes, the adoration full on display that made the other girls smile knowingly at her. 

"That's a long time to hold hands.", Raven said, still grinning, "doesn't your hand hurt from holding hers?" She was still playing with Clarke but the blonde couldn't find it in her to care, especially not when two slender arms slung around her shoulders, and soft lips softly kissed the crown of her hair. "Who's holding hands?", Lexa asked, clearly more comfortable than at the beginning. 

"Ugh, that's so cute I gotta puke. Be right back.", Raven complained before she got up to walk over to the pool. Clarke watched her leave with a shake of her head and leaned against Lexa's body. "Enjoying yourself?", Lexa whispered quietly into Clarke's ear and earned a small kiss in return.    
"Yeah, very much so, though I would enjoy it more if you would kiss me."

It was apparent to everyone that the two of them were in their own world. Harper and Maya had quietly sneaked away, now ready to play beer pong with the boys who were excitedly arguing about additional rules for the game. 

_

After that party they stayed for a week. It was weird, felt like settling while they usually drove through the city but neither of them seemed to mind. If anything, they felt cosy in the house, in the borrowed guestroom who Bellamy had so selflessly given to them. 

   
Every morning the spent with Raven at the breakfast table, talking about life, about the future and everything they planned to be doing. While Raven found a soft spot for Clarke and the two of them usually sat on the patio, talking about whatever came to their mind. Lexa found a friend in Anya. The usually stoic woman seemed to acknowledge the energy that Lexa had, calm and collected, ready to talk about politics without being judgemental.

One sunny afternoon, the two of them sat next to one another when Anya suddenly breached a topic Lexa hadn't thought about the past weeks of their journey. "So, what will you be doing once this journey is over?"

Lexa looked over, contemplating while her heart beat quickly in her chest. The decision of the future was one she had to make at some point but she felt unable to do so without Clarke. It was weird how the blonde had taken such a big role in her life that Lexa couldn't imagine anything without her being by her side.

"Actually, I don't know. Clarke and I never talked about it. The only thing we know is that our journey will lead us home.", she explained, her head still trying to wrap itself around the fact that this part of their life would end as soon as they would go back to their village.

"Home?", Anya asked and Lexa quirked an eyebrow at her. "Yes."

With a soft scoff Anya reached out for the bottle of beer standing on the table and took a swig from it. "You know, I'm not from around here. I mean, you probably heard it in my accent.", she said, flashing a quick smile, "Raven and I met when I was here for an exchange and when it was time to go home, I suddenly felt that home isn't a place anymore, you know? I made so many friends here, so many memories that a place wasn't enough to be called home. And then there was Raven...", she shrugged and looked over to the brunette who was currently leaned over some sort of arrangement next to Clarke. 

"I get what you are saying.", Lexa said as she looked over to the table as well, as if sensing her presence Clarke looked over and sent her a quick smile before Raven's voice pulled her back into the conversation she was having. "Thought so.", Anya said, acknowledging it with a smile and held her bottle out towards Lexa. The two of them clinked their bottles and both took a swig from them.

_

Once the week was over and their clothing was packed neatly in their bags, Bellamy announced that they would have another party, a party to say farewell to their newfound friends. 

Clarke and Lexa had no choice but to agree, unwilling to let their new friends behind just yet. Wells promised them one last gig, sort of like a farewell tour and the couple agreed to stay until the following morning.   


By the time the band was ready to play several people had arrived to the party, filling the quite big living room to the brim. Lexa had just spent the last hour talking to Raven and had been left quite impressed. Even though the brunette seemed to be crass and direct in everything she did, seemingly insensitive, she was a good listener and an even better discussion partner.

So, the two of them had somehow dived into the nature of the human being. A topic that Lexa never grew tired of. Though she believed that people were indeed able of peace and happiness with one another, they would always end up destroying one thing or another. Raven didn't dispute this but merely laid her focus on creation. Soon enough a small crowd had gathered around them, witnessing the somewhat heated discussion. 

Once Raven announced that she had 'a duty to fulfill' Lexa was left behind in the kitchen with a cup of who knew what and felt an invisible tug around her head when she realised she hadn't talked to Clarke since they had seen each other a few hours back. 

As the crowd moved around her, swaying to the music, Lexa searched out for her favourite blue eyes and found them in front of the band. Her left hand played with a curl of blonde her while she dreamily listened to the music, her body slowly swaying to the rhythm. 

Lexa could already imagine the quiet hum that surrounded Clarke and the way she would be swaying in her embrace. Almost mechanically Lexa made it through the crowd, not even bothering with apologising to the others, her focus only on Clarke.

When she finally reached her, she slipped her arms around Clarke and pulled her in a soft embrace. The blonde hummed under hear breath and leaned against Lexa's body, savouring her warmth. With a slow movement they began to slowly sway together with Lexa's head on Clarke's shoulder. It was a moment of inner peace, of finally being home. A weird feeling considering that they were somewhere in the states with people they had just met. But right this moment felt like the accumulation of their journey, like the final piece that completed the picture.

When Bellamy's voice bellowed melodically through the room and the lyrics wrapped them like a warm blanket, Clarke turned around slightly, her lips seeking out Lexa's. When she was met with Lexa's jaw instead, she smiled softly against the warm skin and peppered it with butterfly kisses until their lips met in a tender kiss. It was Clarke who pulled Lexa through the crowd, over the stairs and into their own little room. Lexa followed willingly, let herself be led through the house, stopped as Clarke kissed her passionately as an unspoken urgency awoke, made them push and pull until Clarke was pressed against the door, her body melded into Lexa's curves. Blindly she reached out for the knob of the door, pushed the door open while the two of them stumbled into the room.

Once they had made their way to the single bed in the room their lips met in an intense kiss. They pulled, pushed and tugged, all lips and teeth, before Clarke took a pause, her forehead leaned against Lexa's. For a moment they breathed the same air, felt the expanding of their lungs and enjoyed the rhythm the two of them found themselves in. 

It felt as if time had slowed down for a moment while blue met green, like it had done so many times, before. Still, each time felt more significant than the other, felt as if every time they locked eyes they would venture further into the adventure called their life.

"Let's get married.", Clarke whispered against plumb lips as she pushed Lexa onto the mattress behind her, her eyes darting back and forth between Lexa's. And the brunette just stared back into the ocean that was Clarke's eyes. She stared and stared and stared, searching for an answer, for a reaction that never came. "Marry me.", Clarke repeated, her voice raw and raspy and almost barely there.

It spurred Lexa into motion, with one quick movement she surged forward to press her lips against Clarke's in a searing kiss that erased all thoughts from Clarke mind. Her hands pulling at Clarke's top, pulling it up and savouring the hot skin underneath her fingertips. It made the blonde moan at the unexpected intensity, her toes tingling at the sensation. "Yes.", Lexa answered, low and vulnerable, her eyes searching Clarke's. "Yes.", she repeated, her voice growing stronger when Clarke pulled her down for another kiss. 

Their hands danced over their bodies with an eased practice, pulling and pushing with urgency, both of them filled with lust and desire. "Tonight.", Clarke breathed out between two kisses. "Marry me tonight."

It stopped Lexa in her motion, her breath falling from her lips in a rapid flow. "Tonight?", she asked, her eyes big and green and so full of love and adoration, that Clarke couldn't help but exhale a shuddering breath at the beauty that was Lexa Woods.

"Yes." They stilled in their movement completely, both just staring at one another before Lexa leaned back, looking at Clarke. The spark in Clarke's eyes grew as she jumped up from the mattress and searched through their bags. When she realized that Lexa was still sitting somewhat paralyzed on the bed, she reached out for her hands and pulled them to her lips, ultimately eliciting a reaction from Lexa. She kissed the back of Lexa's hand carefully.

   
"Let's marry tonight, it won't be official but I don't care. I want to be yours, I want to travel the world with you until we are old and wrinkled, until I have to push you in your wheelchair because you can't walk anymore.", Clarke said teasingly, placing another kiss onto Lexa's knuckles, and another and another.  Lexa gulped visible as her eye shone with unshed tears, her smile growing by the second.

"God, yes."

_

It took them an hour until everyone was informed and Wells promised to pose as the pastor. As it was a party and the props were only limited his clothing consisted out of a crown and a baseball bet. But it didn't matter, it wasn’t about the perfect execution, it was the sentiment, the thought of belonging together from now on until the end that made this party the perfect place to execute a wedding of sorts.

Lexa had pulled out the green shirt, black jeans and the suspenders from her bag, her hair freshly braided by Anya who had offered to do so after her first bad impression and Clarke had pulled out a dark blue dress that Lexa hadn't seen her wear once during their journey. For a second, she wondered if the two of them had unconsciously planned for this to happen but then again, they couldn't have known. Both, though they weren't very religious, believed that some sort of fate had brought them here, to this moment.

Weirdly enough it also felt like they had family around them. They didn't miss Clarke's mother to lead her down the aisles, they didn't miss Lexa's father, weirdly enough they rather missed Gustus presence or Indra's, they missed everyone they had met on the way. All of them, even if most of them were strangers, had made an impression on the two of them and made them realize that family didn't always meant a relation by blood. If anything, family defined itself in the circumstances, in the way people came into your life and influenced you, cared for you and caught you when things went south.

So, when Clarke stepped onto the patio, toward the crowd of friends they had made, it somehow felt like family. It was enough that people looked at them with fondness, that some hugged Clarke fiercely – first and foremost Raven – and that they shone with happiness much like them.

Anya stood next to Lexa, sending her an encouraging smile once in a while and Lexa couldn't help but smile happily at her. She couldn't believe that she was about to be married to the woman that filled her heart with so much love, couldn't believe that they were standing here, surrounded by new-found friends, and read their vows.

"I knew we haven't had much time to write vows.", Clarke began, a crumpled letter in her hands as they stood in front of Wells, opposite of one another, "but I don't think I need it, I never needed it with you. You were always there, my rock when everything went down, the one to hold me when I lost my father, the one that made me brave, made me realise that life is about more than following some plan others laid out for you. You made me realize that smoothies are some sort of breakfast, though I promise you to refuse it as just that until we are old and wrinkled." Lexa laughed at that, her hand reaching out for Clarke's on impulse. 

"I promise to be by your side, to sit annoyingly on the passenger seat while you try to figure out where we have to go, to hold your pinky when your feel uncomfortable, to kiss you with greasy food still on my lips and to love you, every day a little more." Clarke made a soft pause, her eyes looking up at Lexa. "I love you with all my heart, Lex."

It took all the strength inside of Clarke not to step forward and kiss Lexa just that moment. Instead she took the offered hand and squeezed it tightly while their eyes connected with one another. 

"Clarke.", Lexa started, the crumbled piece of paper in Lexa's left hand, unnoticed, "I always thought you would elevate me, make me into someone you can be proud of, someone you can love but instead you elevated yourself and I love that about you. You are head-strong, passionate and the most caring person I ever met. And even if you are an emotional mess when we watch Bambi, you always eat an unbelievable amounts of fries every week, sing over all my favourite songs and always steal my favourite sweater, I love you all the better for it and I promise to love all your little quirks, the paint stains you leave on my best suits, the lip stick on almost all of my shirts and I can't wait to find out even more quirks you have and love all of them. Clarke Griffin, I can't wait to spent the rest of my life with you."

The crowd around them applauded and Wells declared them as wife and wife by virtue of his office. The kissed they shared after was tender, careful and loving. Both of them held onto one another, sinking into the feeling of belonging that coated them in a soft caress.

Once separated, they stayed close for another moment, taking in the moment. "I love you.", Lexa whispered against Clarke's lips and the blonde's lips quirked into a soft smile. "I love you, too."

While everyone congratulated them, told them stories and made them promise to visit them again, both of them held onto one another, not once letting go of their clasped hands. Only after everyone had returned to drinking alcohol, Clarke and Lexa took a moment to sit down on the patio. Their bodies pressed together in a melded embrace, Clarke's head on Lexa's shoulder, while their hands still held onto one another. 

And as they stared out onto pool, watched people laugh, dance and drink, they felt like they were home with their hearts. There was no place they would rather be, not in this very moment with their hearts filled with happiness to the brim. No, not now, now they felt like they were home.

Home at last. 


End file.
